My New Seven Wonders Of The World

1) Which bugger ate the last packet of chicken noodles that I'd selfishly hidden in the first place?
2) How can Eliza Dushku actually be that hot?
3) Who the hell phoned me at 3am 3 weeks ago, withheld their number and asked if I could "fold (them) into a curtain"?
4) What's the point in that '¬' button on the keyboard (left of the '1' and below the 'Esc')?
5) Where do babies come from?
6) Why does water evaporate at any temperature?
7) When will someone ever comment on my blog and prove to me that I'm not talking to myself here?

My actual votes have gone for Machu Picchu, Great Wall of China, Angkor Wat, Colosseum, Acropolis of Athens, Easter Island Moais and Petra in Jordan. Some of the finalists are just not impressive - show me folks that could rebuild the Eiffel Tower and I probably wouldn't say anything to them because I don't know them, but I'd be thinking 'big deal, you used lots of machinery'. Show me folks that could rebuild Machu Picchu on a mountain top or Angkor Wat with the same millimeter precision and I'd first call them copycats for not coming up with their own idea, but then I'd go 'wow guys, that's really impressive and worthy of winning a poll in a thousand years'.

Before signing off I'd just like to ask you all to re-read my seventh wonder and ask yourself 'what did he mean by that? what does he want me to do? how can I prove to Paul that I read his blog?'.

Signing off.
Paul

My Journey Quiz

1) What was the weather condition on Monday at 3.15am during my 15 minute walk to the bus station?
a - torrential rain and wind.
b - glorious sunshine.

2) Germany had a paddy about their airspace, causing what to happen?
a - a 1 hour delay before take-off.
b - nothing adverse. In fact, it somehow sped up our flight and we all spent the duration of the flight praising the German people in general. Really great guys, every one of them.

3) How did the 'large' chap to my right smell during the 7 hour flight to Dubai?
a - like the devil's armpit.
b - like nectar.

4) Complete the sentence: "Ladies and gentlemen I'm afraid we're going to have another delay of approximately 30 minutes whilst plane debris is cleared off the runway, ..."
a - "... please make sure that you are aware of your nearest emergency exit."
b - "... only kidding, we'll be landing 4 hours ahead of schedule."

5) A beer in Dubai's airport cost how much?
a - £6
b - 50p

6) Our 2 hour delay on the tarmac (but don't even think about taking your seat belts off to adjust the air-conditioning) before flying to Sri Lanka was due to what?
a - Who bloody knows?
b - (this lie is getting tiring now) There was no delay, we left on time, and I for one found the seats so comfortable that I was able to finally get some sleep.

7) My flight from Jakarta to Kupang took 4 hours longer than expected because of what?
a - An unscheduled stop in Surabaya, where everyone had to leave the plane, stand in the airport for a few hours and then get back on it.
b - The captain agreed that we should all pop down to Bali for a few hours, get a drink, go for a swim, grab a massage and basically relax.

8) Out of the 6 flights I had to take, how many were delayed?
a - 6
b - none

9) Why am I sat writing dumb things on the Internet when I could actually be out enjoying the delights of delightful Timor?
a - I'm stuck on the ship as we don't have shore leave because we 'may or may not' sail at some point later in the day.
b - I'm sat at a beach bar with a beer next to me watching the delights of delightful Timor pass me by.

Answers on a £5 note please.

I promised last time to put a joke in this post. Well I can't think of any good traditional style jokes, so I'll just leave you with 'Emerates'.

My Friend In Mead

There are many things that I'm looking forward to over the coming days. To name but a few is an injustice to all the other things I'm looking forward to, but a few will have to suffice if I'm to get through this post with everyone's concentration still in one piece.
I'll be kicking about in South Mead again over the next few days, seeing my lovely friends Emma, Beth and Louis, along with, perhaps (and hopefully), some other good Meaders as well.
I'll be treated to a snooker performance that will probably never be matched in it's hilarity.
I'll also be treated to a rendition of that Hanson song I seem to hold so dear to my dieing heart.
It probably should go without saying, although saying it I am, that I'm excited by the prospect of 2 more months in Indonesia, although the route there is somewhat less than appealing - Heathrow-Dubai-Sri Lanka-Singapore-Jakarta-Kupang.
It 100% should need not be said that I'm also looking forward to seeing the beautiful Indonesian girls again, but I just couldn't resist saying it.

I've lost interest in this post, it's kind of bored the living daylights out of me. I'll post a joke next time, promise.

Here's a picture of me. No reason for it, there just is.

My Whatever

The Ex has counted down to zero - sweet. Well, if you're American. Still, that means it wont be long before we get it here in England. Zach Braff - I love you.

Also out soon is the above showing The Golden Compass, starring some perfectly cast err, cast. Nicole Kidman as Coulter = genious. Basically, what I mean to say is, I have nothing of real interest to write here on my blog, and those topics which I probably could write about more fully I happen to not be arsed enough to go ahead and write about. That sentence might not make sense. Meh.

I'm going back to Indonesia in 2 weeks - get in.

My day at the orphanage

On my last day in Cambodia I visited the Lighthouse Orphanage just outside of Phnom Penh, armed, quite precariously on a motorbike, with 50kg of rice, a football, tennis balls, sweets, balloons, notebooks and pens. I had some spare local currency and thought I'd put it to good use, and ended up having probably my best day during my travels. I went there thinking I'd feel sorry for the kids, being orphans, but left there feeling pretty confident that they're all going to grow up and have a decent future. Unlike a lot of other Cambodian kids, these folks all get taught English, Japanese, Maths and Science, and are all incredibly beautiful, funny, clever, generous and grateful. And good at playing, which, although fun, is quite difficult to keep up with for an entire day. They also helped restore my faith that Cambodian people are actually incredibly nice and friendly, something which had taken a fair knock a few days previously.

There were 53 kids in the orphanage, so these two photos are of Rayuth, 3, and about half of the others just before I had to leave.

My 'VIP' bus back to Phnom Penh

And here it is, with one wheel less than what it started with. This time I watched the cheaper, normal bus sail past as we spent 90 minutes waiting for a new wheel to arrive. It did, however, give me time to wander around and find some cute young girls and a place to eat lunch. I had rice with crickets and tarantulas. Not as bad as the pig brain soup I had in Vietnam, but definately not on my 'to do again' list - just too much of a mouthful.

My Cambodian update

I've certainly had a pretty decent last few weeks, though the last few days have been my most eventful. Not necessarily my favourite, mind, but eventful never-the-less. For example, swimming above hammerhead sharks or Vu Thi Xuan Lam serenading me with Lionel Richie's 'Hello' in the funniest Vietnamese accent ever with completely the wrong lyrics will take some beating. Oh, and she was naked too, if that helps explain my fondness of it. Cambodia, though, in a bid to keep up there with the rest of them, is notching up a few points, and it's now that I will finally get on with saying why. Or perhaps I'll wait another 2 sentences? Yes, I think I will.

Getting to Phnom Penh was a bit of a mission from Saigon. Sure, I could have flown, but that's just boring and more expensive. So I booked a 2 day boat/road trip, that for me took 3 days as I missed the first bus at 6.30am. The tour company are assured that my hotel forgot my wake-up call, thus were unable to re-charge me. Drinking until 4am probably had some role to play, though. Long story short, I went to some floating markets, got lost again in a town called Chau Doc near the Cambodian border, spent about 15 hours on a slowboat heading up the Mekong, popped into some floating houses and fish farms, and spent a nice 3 hours in a 22 seater bus on Cambodias notorious rural roads with 21 other people, and all of their luggage.

I spent only 1 day in Phnom Penh, during which time I went to see the Tuol Sleng Primary School that the Khmer Rouge transformed into a prison/torture centre during Pol Pot's genocidal regime, the Killing Fields where those that survived Tuol Sleng were then taken to be killed, the Royal Palace and Wat Phnom, a Buddhist temple. It was a pretty crazy day, and if I ever write about it on here I'd want to dedicate a decent chunk of webspace to it, not merely in the middle of an update. The genocide sites were quite horrific to witness, but thoroughly interesting and worth doing. I can't explain.

And so yesterday I started on my '6' hour bus ride at 7.30am to Siem Reap, further north in the country. The $10US VIP bus went sailing past us, however, as our $5US normal bus pulled over after 2 hours with 1 wheel less than what we started with. We were still sat next to our bus 2 hours later when news came that a) the problem would take at least 3 hours to fix (Cambodian for 6 or more, maybe even 24 hours) and b) no replacement would come for us. So I basically hitched the remaining 230km - 3 hours stood on a full bus, 1 hour on a motorbike with all my luggage, and the remaining 30 minutes in comparative luxury sat on a tut-tut. Some might say that was a risk, but they would be boring people. Boring people sat next to a 3 wheeled bus still. According to the local hospital, I've arrived in Siem Reap during a 'very severe Dengue Hemorrhagic Fever epidemic'. I'll be swatting those mosquitoes with extra vigour, then.

This morning I got up at 4.30am with the plan to see the sunrise at Angkor Wat. Once again the wet season decided to laugh in my face, however, as it tried it's hardest to be a monsoon season. It turned out to be a blessing though, as I ploughed on regardless (much to the annoyance of my motorbike driver) and, although drenched somewhat, was the only person there. So I've got some great photos with no tourists in the way, something that's almost impossible to get here otherwise. I was also on my own at Ta Prohm, the temple that the lovely Angelina Jolie graced, and then raided - the temple that's now half jungle. A bit disappointed not to have found her there though, to be honest. And no sight of Madonna come to think of it - incredible bad luck.

I've essayed again, I'm tres sorry. I'm on the VIP bus back to Phnom Penh tomorrow.